Sitting with myself: A Vipassana Adventure

For the month of October I am taking a break from interviewing wonderful NDs so that I can share my recent experience having spent ten days in “noble silence” at the Ontario Vipassana Centre: Torana Dhama. As described on their website, the course has three aspects: sila, Anapana meditation and then Vipassana. Firstly you must observe silence and refrain from harming yourself or others (including mosquitos!!). Then you learn to observe the breath, and eventually you learn the art and practice of Vipassana. This latter aspects involves meditating in silence, eyes closed, and observing the sensations in your body: big, small, pleasant, unpleasant…absolutely any sensation.

Before this course the longest I had ever sat for a meditation was an hour….once….and I found it incredibly hard. So making the jump to ten hours a day may have been a bit risky, but hey, go big or go home, right?

In addition to not speaking you also can’t bring any reading materials, write, use electronics or leave the grounds. Might sound like a prison. Maybe it is like a prison…..but I think that’s the point. No distractions. Just you and you – so get used to it, because guess what folks, that’s the reality of life no matter how many times we try to ignore that fact.

I arrived in the afternoon of September 7, which happened to be an insanely hot day. As I dripped bits of sweat onto my registration paper I started to mentally prepare for what the next ten days would bring, I had absolutely no idea.

The first mediation was that evening, after which noble silence began. One hour in and my hips ached. Oh dear. I walked to my cabin in the dark and tucked myself in for the night. At 4am my alarm clock went off: game time. Each day ran the exact same. Meditation from 4:30-6:30am. Sweet, glorious breakfast at 6:30am. My shower time was 7:20am – another cherished time of the day. Group meditation from 8-9am. Independent meditation from 9-11am. The worlds most delicious lunch at 11am. And then free time until 1pm.

At free time you would find most people sunning themselves or lying under a tree. Many of us went for walks along the loop trail in the woods. I had my routine down by day two. Two loops of the trail, one in each direction, and then find a spot to stand and stare at trees. Talk to birds and chipmunks and caterpillars and grasshoppers (telepathically, obviously). Try to stretch out my body. File my nails. Maybe put my hair into braids.

At 1pm meditations started again until 5pm, at which point we stopped for tea and fruit (no dinner). At 6-7pm we had our last group meditation of the day and then we had a nightly discourse, in video form, taught by S.N. Goenka. Once the discourse ended we would meditate until 9pm and then lights out by 10pm.

Over the course of the week I had all sorts of emotions. But as time went on, my hips opened up, my mind quieted down, and I began to experience feelings in my body I never knew existed. As my monkey mind shut down my subconscious mind began to emerge. Long forgotten memories would randomly bubble up to the surface. Beautiful memories from my childhood that I had completely forgotten. At moments I traveled into dream spaces I had previously created. I could feel the energy flowing through my body like a river.

This experience proved to me the power of meditation. The goal of this course, of this technique, is mastery of the mind. How often have you felt like you are a prisoner to your mind? How often have you wished you could just shut off all your thoughts and be HAPPY. Meditation is for everyone. Vipassana has even successfully been taught to people in prison. If you want to learn more about the power of meditation, let’s chat, even you can do it.

When I arrived it was summer. Each day it became cooler, leaves began to fall, trees began to change colour. Each night the moon got bigger. Each morning my alarm went off at 4am and I thought to myself, I’m awake. I’m awake.